These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
