I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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