Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize