i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
