why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
