It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
worst night to have a conscience
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize