God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
