I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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