Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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