Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize