Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
