I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
