apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize