we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
