Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Randomize
