google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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