before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
