Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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