My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
