Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize