The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
