you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
