Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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