I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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