You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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