I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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