Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
