I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
