is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
And then he peed in my hair
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