doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
