we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize