End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize