and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
