She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
