Non-Jews are for practice
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You know, be my cock's hype man.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
