All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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