I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
