Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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