Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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