i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize