You're my little dorito
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
