i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
