Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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