and next time when you feel me up, do it right
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
