Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
