And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
