so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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