just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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