i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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