Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize