i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize