do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize