Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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