Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
