Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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