Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
