You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
