Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
